Anaconda

What keeps me alive? Actually, I dont know ! Maybe i have nowhere to go! If dead people are taken to the sky, i am not sure that the sky will accept me. If they do embrace the earth, im not sure that my tomb will accept me either. I feel unwanted everywhere!

As I have always believed that we are living a silly life, I force myself to believe in a silly dream, believing like i have the silliness to succeed in this silly world. Intelligence is fatal in this silly world. Better be silly to believe in paradise...

Paradise is within...I know...living in peace with oneself is paradise itself ! but as i am a sadistic person, i prefer to suffer before...maybe i would enjoy it better..i wont let it go if i get it by force.

Life is a song! Not everbody has a sweet voice to sing it well. I cant have celine Dion’s voice. You may have tried hard, like me, to sing Titanic’s theme just the way Celine did, and just when you are making your best to sound like her, it looks the sarcastic way! As if you are making fun of of it while you were actually seriously singing like Celine...Life is a song...Sorry cant have Alanis Morisette’s voice.

Love is morphene. It calms pain for a while. If you are lucky enough, a while can be long enough. When there’s no love, you just keep on bleeding to death. Maybe that’s why some people had shorter lives. To be consoled, we believe that they are granted a much blessed love, that of God and His angels.

When God was distributing chance and fortune, he forgot me. Perhaps he could not see me just like my surroundings do not. I am doomed to be unseen and unheard as well.

The gift of prophecy

I am told things kept in secrecy

A witch promising me to foresee

With her white pupils, she cannot see

Yet, she touched my palm's lines

And knew what my destiny hides

Feeling my hand in hers, she sank into deep concentration

My questions unanswered, I felt a queer frustration

Sustaining the lines of her ugly face

I was wondering What for me awaits?

The question kept resoning until i got awake

Between rationality and insanity

I am lost, my patience ability in jeopardy

I have questions to know the answers

To know the future's secrets and wonders

I want to violate the mystery's universe

To hack its sacredness

Until I fall into another little somnolence

I may or not find the answers

Je suis le foetus du mal

Une passion d'une femelle et d'un mâle

Je fus nommé Erreur

les nouveau-nés sont eçus avec bonheur

Moi, j'ai vu des visages tachés d'horreur

Quand je me suis retrouvé dans ce monde

J'ai tout de suite souhaité rejoindre la tombe

Qui suis je?

Quelque minutes d'irrésistible envie

De Satan, on m'accuse d'être le petit

Mais cela ne m'importe guère et tant pis

De ma mère, je ne connais d'odeur

De mon père, je n'hérite point de blondeur

Je m'impatiente dans mon berceau

Dans l'hopital, personne n'est venu faire un saut

J'y suis resté assez longtemps

jusqu'à ce qu'on me dise que je ne suis plus enfant

C'est dur de quitter l'hopital

Sans savoir ses origines ou ville natale

Mais j'habite le pays des inconnus

De la communauté des délaissés nus

Quoi que j'ai essayé de changer de nom

De prendre Ali ou Sami comme prénom

On m'appelle toujours Erreur

Une abomination dans son ampleur

Oh que c'est une insurmontable tristesse

De se savoir q'un fruit d'une ivresse

Une petite minute avant…

Mon jeune amoureux
Je te confie mon avenir
Je te donne les jours qui restent

C’est malheureux
C’est juste quand ma vie vient de finir
Que je te donne ce qui en reste

Et toi, mon amoureux
Tu fais tout pour me retenir
Comme si tu arroses une rose fanée

Toi qui mérite tout
L’amour que j’ai eu le tort
De le donner aux autres

Tu me secoues comme un oiseau agonissant
Tu souffles en moi une vie qui est tienne
Je sais je ne pourrais vivre un siècle

Mais, Dieu, me laisseriez vous vivre
Juste le temps d’un orage
Pour graver son image

Je lui dirais qu’il mérite bien plus que ma vieillesse
Un siècle d’amour et une interminable tendresse
J’aurais voulu qu’il vienne un peu plus tôt

Une petite minute avant ma retraite
Des amours échoués et le monde des fées
J’aurais voulu qu’il apparaisse un peu plut tôt

Juste avant que je tranche mes veines
Et que le froid s’empare des mon corps non désiré
J’aurais voulu voir ses yeux avant mon dernier souffle

Maybe I am too coward to make that firm and determined step of suicide, that I pretend having to await a whatsoever chance. To console myself i say’if nothing runs, walks or even crawls for me, i refuse to live this life. I will stop this mascarade”. Do i really have this intention? Do i really want to just let myself fall in that bottomless pit? Or Am i too stubborn to give up and put down my arms? Guess i have a rebel inside and i am not hopeless enough to give up life out of despair.

Why complaining about loneliness if it is the sole moment when you listen to yourself and hear that agonizing moaning. You feign not to pay attention to the signs that your body sends. When i dont listen to myself, it bleeds. I feel wet, i thought it that of pleasure, i turned colour blind all of sudden so as not to see the scarlet red liquid leaking out of my heart.

What’s wrong? Everything’s wrong ! I am dying of loneliness. Doesnt mean i need people around ! dont need any people. I need some people. Actually, only one person is enough, but though not any person. Someone who is not color blind.

How i wish to let down that mistrust and just behave like a not-yet-prejudiced child. How i wish to forget everything to throw myself in welcoming wide-open arms. How i wish to have a broken watch and forget about time, enjoying a timeless moment of sincere love and joy. How i wish to trun six again ! but im 25, 20 years of bad hex and sequel of misfortune as if i am the only one under the target of a revengful god.